The return, the revival, almost killing baby squirrels, but then I remembered that I am just a horse

September 18, 2018

The return, the revival, almost killing baby squirrels, but then I remembered that I am just a horse

“I’ve made choices and I’ve made mistakes. I can no longer tell the difference”

-Unknown

Let’s just assume I’ve been dead. That is more justifiable then not posting anything for almost a year. Consistency has never been my strong suit. Rather, I am a natural disaster composed in a short, blonde package. Nevertheless, the revival is here. The return. The ending and the beginning. This is now. This is then. Welcome back.

Anyway, the last time I posted was on December 11th, 2017. Unfortunately, it is now September 18th, 2018. That is a slight difference in days. I am too old to calculate the difference between those days. So just assume it’s been 60 days so it is more justifiable as to why I have not bothered to post on this blog.

I’ve been talking to a blank wall in the sense of reciting crappy slam poetry in my car to myself on long car trips. Yet here, I have a perfectly available blank wall to speak to. That’s the beauty of the lounge.

Uh anyway this year has been a hot mess and so many things have changed so quickly. There is no time to summarize and present of what has happened. So instead, things are from now moving forward. And with that, let us begin.

I was walking across campus and I saw a baby squirrel mewing on the quad. Now, I saw this squirrel in the worst way possible. I saw this squirrel a mere foot away from my chaco as I stepped over it, not realizing it was below me. I almost stepped on the tiny infant sized creature and my guilt tore me apart for a whole 30 seconds and then I regained strength within myself.

When you book a study room within The University of Alabama libraries you can give your study group a name. The study names are listed publicly, and they are absolutely fantastic. If I am able to show an ounce of discipline with this blog, I will include some form of weekly posting of the names, because as I said, they’re great. Included below is my favorite ones from this upcoming week.

The only update I will include is an update on the lore of the lounge. Buckle your seatbelts and rewind to a different, younger time in our world’s history. Review this article if you will, but essentially I decided I wanted a tattoo that paid tribute to the best song of all time, “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver. It took me from October 26, 2017, to some point in July, to get the actual tattoo. It’s given below. I’m pretty pleased with it.

I showed an image of it to a person and they stared at me and said ‘What do you want me to say to this?’ and it absolutely tore my feelings to shred. It kinda messed with me for a while because I was trying to spark a new conversation, and I guess that was my mistake. It’s been messing with my psyche, and maybe that’s held me back from posting here. A common critique I receive is the amount of which I talk. I see that preached a lot to, ‘listen more than you speak’, which I totally agree with. It is important to hear the stories of others, their experience, and their life because that is the best way to learn. Yet it leaves me with a burning question. When should people speak then? If everyone is listening more than they speak, who should be the ones talking? What determines who gets to talk? Why should I not be allowed to talk?

I think my character development should include general improvements with conversations, perhaps that is what the world needs. But I don’t want to be quiet. If I’m not causing harm, what is to stop me? Why should I be silent? My ideas can be good and bad but how am I supposed to know if they are if I don’t spread them to the world? That is the burning question I have with myself lately. I know for a fact I am not everyone’s cup of tea. But when you don’t like a type of tea, you get a new kind. You don’t try to change the green tea to black tea. That’s not how it works. That is the approach I am seeking and finding with myself. A Leah brand tea might not be your favorite, but it may grow on you, and if not, there are plenty of other teas out there.