This Took So Much Effort

Welcome back to Leah’s Lounge. Wow. It’s been a wild few months. Things are changing like crazy and I don’t have much time to summarize. So I’ll instead focus on what’s important. The details y’all truly care about. That is- what stupid stuff have I been doing in my spare time. We can subdivide this into three main categories. 

1. There’s a cat that lives in mine and Matthew’s backyard
2. I memorized the 50 state capitals
3. VeggieTales

Now, what sounds most interesting to the average consumer varies, likely based on your taste. The third one might spark some interest, as will the first. For those two, I recommend the following: Follow my instagram! My handle is @leahsuzor  and I will follow you back if you’re kinda interesting! Or not! Anyway. If you click my profile and go to highlights, there’s a few main highlights that might interest people. 

The first is “Veggie Tales” it will summarize the third bullet point. I’ve been implored by individuals to make a VeggieTales post, and others have begged me to please stop, so there’s likely a VeggieTales blog post coming. VeggieTales is similar to a game of tennis. WACK. I recommend hitting up Spotify and listening to “Bob and Larry Do Country”. The whole album. Then, listen to everything else Veggie Tales on Spotify. Like me. My Top 100 songs for this year that Spotify makes is ruined. It’s all Boop and Lair-ee. Free me. 

Anyway, I will prepare a VeggieTales post. Unfortunately, it will likely suffer, in a similar fashion to my Steve the Noob one cuz yall are FAKES. Therefore, it shall cover everything. 

As for the cat that lives in the backyard, there’s an Instagram Highlights for that too! It’s named “The Backyard Cat” and it features a cat, my incredible artwork, and the creativity of my Instagram audience in naming a cat that I know nothing about. The cat is an interesting fellow, because this four-pawed creature is incredible at halting conversation. Me and Matthew could be having a wonderful, happy chat in our living room. Then the cat will walk by outside. And we will promptly ignore each other to focus on the cat we see basically everyday. Similar to a tennis game, and similar to Boop and Lair-ee, it’s a situation that is filled with holes, love, and uh (I didn’t think the joke this far) WIMBLEDON. 

That’s pretty much all I have to say about the cat I guess.

There’s a third section though.

A third section that should spark interest. 

I memorized the 50 US State Capitals.

I want to emphasize. I am not a hero. “But Leah! Why would you even call yourself a hero for doing something fifth graders in geography do every day???” and to that I say, I said I WAS NOT a hero. Read and listen better. 

Anyway, I dedicated about a week of my life to memorizing the capitals, and there’s a lot that goes into it. I will provide a few short tips.

ONE - The Reorganization of Your Brain Cells

This is a big one. You have to be careful in allocating and relocating your precious brain cells, because if you’re ANYTHING like me, they’re limited. So in order to fit probably like 100 words (Baton Rouge is two words (Capital of Lousinia for the Fools) Carson City is also two words (Nevada’s is NOT RENO OR LAS VEGAS YOU MEGA FOOL) and Montpelier sounds like two words (VERMONT YOU ESPECIALLY FOOL)), you need to be meticulous and particular with knowledge you have to drop. For example, I decided to dump the majority of the plot of “A Tale of Two Cities”. This ended up being a small dump because unfortunately I wasn’t really paying attention during the tenth grade (I’m so sorry Mrs. Slusser). 

I needed to dump more knowledge to fit in Providence, Rhode Island (Which is very small to empty out. Haha get it, state humor). I did the logical thing which is forget the majority of the friends I had in elementary school, and basically the entirety of my junior year of college (Memorizing state capitals is important!). 

I kept dumping useless data like how to do long division in order to fit the state with the longest shoreline (Juneau, Alaska) and how to do shorthand division in order to fit in one of the many states without any shoreline (Topeka, Kansas) 

So dump some data and you’ll be set 

TWO - Low Hanging Fruit 

It’s also good to knock out some of the easier states, AKA states with self explanatory capitals, capitals that ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE by either being the most populated, the most well known, and just overall cities that sound like they should be capital. (Unlike you, Albany, New York, and you Springfield, Illinois, and you Jefferson City, Missouri, and YOU Sacramento, California, and YOU Olympia, Washington). Some states with expected capitals include Boston, Massachusetts, Phoenix, Arizona, Salt Lake City, Utah, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Jackson, Mississippi, Denver, Colorado. Honolulu. Hawaii, Indiannapolis, Indiana.

Three- Finding Connections

Another approach is thinking about capitals that you have physically been to. Alabama, easy, I lived there for years. Montgomery Georgia, also lived there for years, Atlanta. Texas, easy, I live here now. Austin. Tennessee, easy, I lived there for about three months, Nashville. Arkansas, easy, Matthew is from there and we drove through the city during a torrential downpour once. Little Rock. Florida, easy, my old roommate is from there. Tallahassee Idaho, easy, the potato place. Boise New Mexico, easy, there’s like six thousand broadway musicals that have a song about it (I can only confirm Newsies and Rent but you get my point), Santa Fe. West Virginia, easy, it’s the best Virginia and has a wonderful song written about it. Charleston. 

Four - Memory Devices 

There’s a word for memory devices but I cannot recall it (Haha funny joke, I just have no idea how to spell it and I’m too lazy). Using memory devices can help you recall even the most obscure of state capitals. Here’s a little rhyme for one:

Salem is where

The trials took place 

But not this one

Why, Oregon, are you like this  

And another: 

Columbus once sailed

The ocean blue 

But if you get on a bus to Columbus 

You’re in Ohio 

There are some shorter ones too. Like if you Conneti-CUT yourself in the HART-ford, you’ll need to go to the hospital. Hartford, Connecticut. If you’re a Rich Man who lives in Richmond, you’re in Virginia. To hear the Land-sing in Michigan you go to Lansing (my friend Nick is from Michigan said Lansing is trash so don’t take this one seriously). A hot dog in the capital of Kentucky sounds delicious, AKA a Frankfurter in Frankfort. Des Moines, Iowa is easy because you just make mouth sounds and none of them make sense. To party in North Carolina, is to rally in Raleigh.

Five - The Fake States 

There are some states that are definitely not real. Because of this, their capitals become all the more fun to memorize because it’s like a little game. Dover, Delaware, how silly!  Concord, New Hampshire, what fun! Either of the Dakotas, whether North or South, whether Bismarck or Pierre, look how foolish we feel! Wyoming is so incredibly fake!!! Cheyenne!!! 

Six - There’s Only Nine Left! 

Augusta, Maine

Annapolis, Maryland

St. Paul, Minnesota 

Helena, Montana 

Lincoln, Nebraska

Trenton, New Jersey

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Columbia, South Carolina

Madison, Wisconsin 

THAT’S ALL THE CAPITALS, THERE ARE. 

You can also listen to this song because that’s how I actually memorized the capitals. None of my tricks actually worked, I just listened to this song until I had it memorized. Sorry. But my guide may help!

This was a lot of work. Hope you had fun in the Lounge. I’m going to bed.